Completely Random Product Reviews

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Posts Tagged ‘fast food’

Popeyes Chicken!

Posted by bronzechains on July 14, 2009

No, I didn’t forget the apostrophe in “Popeyes”; that’s how they spell it.  Recently, my ex-wife Kelli and I (along with her man, Alex) took our kids to the Children’s Museum in Indianapolis for a day of education and fun.  If you live nearby, it’s well worth your time.  That place kicks ass, for realz.  Don’t worry, I was speaking (or typing) facetiously when I said “for realz”.  I don’t really talk like that.  Anyway, after playing at the museum all day, everyone was ready for a filling meal.  We had initially planned on waiting until we got back to town to eat, but the Popeyes Louisiana Kitchen on 38th in Indy caught our eyes.  We’d recently discussed the fact that none of us had ever eaten at Popeyes, and everyone seemed down for some fried bird.  So we made it happen, and am I ever glad!

For starters, the restaurant seemed pretty clean.  There was a children’s area that had books, small toys, and kid-sized chairs.  As a parent of 4, I really appreciated that.  The kids entertained themselves while we ordered food for everyone.  The kid’s meals were reasonably priced at $2.99, so we didn’t break the bank feeding our clan.  I hadn’t eaten all day, so I went for the 3 piece chicken meal, with dark meat.  They offer regular and spicy chicken, and I naturally opted for the spicy.  I chose red beans and rice to go along with my chicken and biscuit.  I ordered some whole pickled jalapenos, simply because I’d never seen them on a side item menu and it seemed novel.  My meal rang up at a little over eight bucks.  Not bad for a 3 piece meal and a drink.  Feast thine eyes upon the treasure:


It was difficult to accurately judge just how spicy the chicken was, because I took a huge bite of one of the jalapenos before anything else.  Yeah, I know.  Some food critic I am….  The chicken was hot, moist and meaty on the inside.  The outside was crispy and pretty much perfect!  Better than KFC, fo sho.  I could see some kind of reddish-orange seasoning occasionally peeking out from beneath the skin, which I’m guessing was the spicy flavoring.  The biscuit was good, but not outstanding.  For a fast food biscuit, it was more than adequate.  Buttery, fresh, and not hard or dry at all.  It reminded me of a Hardee’s biscuit, which isn’t a bad thing.  The jalapenos were, well….pickled jalapenos.  It’s kinda hard to screw those up.  Open the jar, dump them in the styrofoam bowl.  Mission accomplished.

The real star of this meal was the red beans and rice.  I’ll be completely honest and admit that I’d never had this particular iconic Creole dish before.  So maybe a fast food place isn’t the best spot to have my first taste.  I may not be a Lousiana food expert, but dammit, I know what I like.  And I like Popeyes red beans and rice.  I could make a meal out of that stuff, seriously.  The beans had a wonderful smoky pork flavor, and went perfectly with the steamed rice.  Shit, my mouth is watering again just typing this.  The chicken was good, but this stuff wins the gold medal.  I’m kind of pissed off that there’s no Popeyes in my city, because I want some more red beans and rice.  I’m not sure if I want to try making the stuff myself, so I may just have to wait for another excuse to go to Indianapolis.

The kids all had fried chicken with mashed potatoes, which received thumbs up from them.  Kelli dug her chicken, as well.  She did mention that the mashed potatoes had a strange, uniform lumpiness to them that she didn’t care for.  She said it seemed as if the lumps were purposely put into the mashed potatoes.  Hmmm…worth noting.  Alex ordered fried catfish, and was kind enough to tear me off a chunk.  It was excellent, from what I could tell.  The breading had a good cajun flavor, and wasn’t overly salty.  I may give it a shot next time.

Our cashier was friendly, and didn’t screw up our order.  I should mention that, because it’s an important part of the restaurant experience.  We even sang a verse of “Lump” by the Presidents of the United States of America together when it came on the radio in the restaurant.  I would have given her a hug, if it weren’t for the counter between us.  Well that, and the fact that she probably would have thought I was weird and thrown me out of the restaurant.  Yeah, so maybe not the hug.  A high five perhaps?  Maybe I’ll just respect that customer/cashier barrier that exists in most circumstances.  The one thing I have to deduct points for is the restroom.  It was in pretty sad shape, but not any worse than you’d find in any gas station.  The knob on the sink came off when I turned it on to wash my hands.  I thought about stealing it, but quickly remembered that I’m 29.

If Popeyes were a grade school student and my dining experience was a homework assignment turned in to me, the teacher, I’d give it a 93%.  Good job, Popeyes.  You get an “A”, and a little “scratch and sniff” sticker that has a monkey eating a banana on it.  The sticker says “I’m bananas for you!” and smells like bananas.  Popeyes wins 😀

As a super special bonus for putting up with my meandering, often annoyingly aimless product reviews, I’m including a list of the songs that played on my Ipod while I wrote this review.  I’m not sure if that’s really any kind of bonus or not, but it’s happening.  Enjoy:

Ace of Base – The Sign

Juliana Hatfield – Necessito

Toto – Africa

Rocky Horror Show (original Roxy cast) – Time Warp

Devin Townsend – Truth

Concrete Blonde – The Sky is a Poisonous Garden

Spacehog – The Horror

Pearl Jam – Hail Hail

Minor Threat – Straight Edge

Tiamat – Angel Holograms

Amon Amarth – With Oden on Our Side

Wu-Tang Clan – Da Mystery of Chessboxin’

Britney Spears – Stronger

Faith No More – The Last To Know


Posted in Food | Tagged: , , , , | 8 Comments »

Burger King’s Angry Whopper

Posted by bronzechains on January 11, 2009

For starters, I have to say that I simply don’t know what to think about the name of this sandwich.  I’m torn between “This is the stupidest name for a sandwich.  EVER.”  and “Holy shit, what a hilariously brilliant name for a sandwich!”.  I passed Burger King on the way to my parents’ house for dinner the other day, and did a double-take when I saw the words “ANGRY WHOPPER” on the Burger King sign.   I’ve never been an avid fan of the Whopper, but I’m a sucker for a gimmick burger.  I’m also a sucker for anything that claims to be uber-spicy.  When the last Indiana Jones movie was in theaters, BK had something called the “Indy Whopper” to promote the movie.  And guess what?  I bought one.  Guess what else?  It was tasty.

Needless to say, I got my hands on an Angry Whopper today.  I couldn’t resist it.  I mean, just look at the thing.


Let’s dissect this titan of fat and calories, without actually going into the fat and calories.  If you’re eating a Whopper, you know damn well what you’re getting into.  In addition to the standard huge beef patty, bun, tomato, lettuce, and mayo, this gutbuster includes spicy crispy onions, bacon, pepperjack cheese, pickled jalapeno slices, and “Angry sauce”.  I’ll be honest, the King had me at “hello” with this thing.  I mean, I was ready for one pissed-off sandwich.

Of course, my sandwich looked nothing like the picture above, which would have you believe that the burger had to be incarcerated due to it’s violent tendencies.  But do they ever look like the picture?  No.  I don’t expect them to; I know better.  Despite the flatter and sloppier appearance of my burger, it was pretty delicious.  The Angry sauce was excellent, and I want to have a jar of it in the fridge to slather on everything I eat from now on.  It was kind of like spicy barbecuey mustardy sauce.  I would be eternally grateful if someone found out where I could get my hands on a container of that stuff.  The standard Whopper components were as good as can be expected.  The pepperjack cheese wasn’t spicy at all, which was disappointing.  Pepperjack is supposed to be hot, and this was completely devoid of any heat.  The “spicy” crispy onions tasted exactly like the ones on their Steakhouse burger.  No spicy there, either.  Aside from the Angry sauce, the only kick in this package comes from the jalapeno slices.  I had previously read an online review of the Angry Whopper that complained about BK skimping on the jalapenos, so I ordered extra on my sandwich.  The result was what I would consider a normal amount of jalapeno slices.  My two friends who joined in the taste test, who did not ask for extra jalapenos, received only two or three slices on their burgers.  Disappointing.  Knock that shit off, Burger King.  Don’t skimp on one of the major selling points of the burger.  That’s just crap, and I don’t appreciate it.

The overall spiciness of this burger was a bit disappointing for a hothead like myself, but I understand that when something is being marketed to the masses, the manufacturer has to cater to the masses.  The average customer, even though they know the burger is advertised as spicy, isn’t going to want an extreme amount of heat.  I don’t think I’ve ever found a fast food product that was truly spicy even when advertised as such.  I’m somewhat in the minority on this, so I won’t complain too much about the lack of heat.

The Angry sauce was definitely the highlight of this sandwich, and I’m giving it an overall thumbs-up.  I won’t say that I’ll be buying this burger again though, because I can’t bear the thought of eating a Whopper all that often.  I think a regular Whopper has a full day’s worth of fat in it, so I try to keep my distance most of the time.  Rest assured though, I will more than likely try the next gimmick Whopper that the King comes up with.  My prediction:  A Whopper with a fried egg on top, with french toast slices in place of a bun.  And pancake syrup.  Ick.

Posted in Food | Tagged: , , , | 16 Comments »