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Mexican Candy Taste Test!

Posted by bronzechains on May 10, 2009

I got my hands on some funky Mexican candy recently.  It was suggested by a friend that I do a taste test of each of the candies, and report the results here on the blog.  So guess what?  I’m going to do just that.  I don’t know where you could find this stuff, but I’d be willing to bet that a Mexican grocery store would be a good place to start.  The confections I’ll be reviewing here came from a preschool class birthday party, thanks to a little Hispanic girl who brought treat bags for all her classmates (which included my kids!)

Here’s a photo of the suspects together:

mexcandygroup

L to R – Bubu Lubu cookie things, Pico candy, Bubbaloo gum, de la Rosa Peanuts Confection, Semafora Lollipop, and Duvalin milk candy.

First up is Bubbaloo liquid-filled gum.

mexcandy1

Bubbaloo is manufactured by the same company that makes Cadbury Eggs, so it’s not nearly as exotic as it seemed at first glance.  Apparently though, this gum is hot shit in Mexico and Brazil.  I’ve never seen it before, so I’m allowing it to stand under the “Mexican Candy” banner with the other participants.  Bubbaloo is no different than any other liquid-centered gum, really.  It was quite soft, and had a tiny pocket of strawberry-flavored goo in the middle.  The goo wasn’t very strongly flavored, and didn’t add much to the experience.  As with any other gum, the flavor weakened and became annoying within 5 minutes or so.  Don’t get me wrong; I enjoy good gum.  But regardless of any bold claims made by any manufacturer, ALL gum starts to suck after just a few minutes.  It becomes more of a chore than a pleasurable experience once the flavor loses it’s potency.  And this gum did just that.  It was in the trash before I started typing this paragraph.  I’ll give it a rating of “average” as far as gum goes.

Next comes Semaforo:

mexcandy2

Semaforo translates to “traffic light”, which makes sense after looking at the graphic on the packaging.  The manufacturer attempted to make a lollipop which looked like a traffic light, and they succeeded for the most part.  Though I can’t deny that this sucker looks like multicolored anal beads.  There, I said it.  You were thinking it, and I said it.  Don’t judge me.

The red light tastes like pineapple.  The yellow light may or may not taste like coconut.  I’m not sure if my mind just went to coconut because of the pina colada connection, or if it actually tastes like it.  The green light undoubtedly tastes like green apple.  So, pineapple, coconut (maybe), and green apple.  Odd combination?  Yes.  Does it work?  Sure.  It’s not a bad lollipop.  Kind of awkward to eat, but the novelty probably appeals to the little ones.  I didn’t finish this candy, because I’m just not really down with suckers.  They take entirely too long to eat, and the thought of that sugar just mucking up my mouth for so long is gross.  Decent sucker, though.

Pico is in the house next.

mexcandy3

I’ve heard bad things about Pico, and I considered saving it for last in case it killed me.  But I’m going to go ahead and get it out of the way.  I don’t want to end this taste testravaganza on what would surely be a bad note, had I decided to put this one at the end of the line.  I’ve had something similar in the past, and it was very unenjoyable.  I’m not sure how to classify this candy.  I guess I’ll call it flavored sugar crystals.  As I type this sentence, I’ve yet to taste the stuff.  Opening……oh, this doesn’t smell appetizing at all.  Tasting……..NO.  Not appetizing in the slightest.  It tastes like salt and sugar mixed with chili powder and a bit of strawberry flavoring.  That’s just not good in any way at all.  Somebody’s eating this crap, but not me.  I just threw 90% of the tiny packet in the trash.  I’ll not make that mistake again.  Spread the word.

de la Rosa Peanut Confection?   Don’t mind if I do.

mexcandy4

This candy appears to be a bar of decorative soap made of pressed sawdust.  It’s ingredients are simply peanuts, sugar, and artificial flavoring.  No sawdust?  Hmmm…..somebody’s hiding something.  But dammit, this candy is good.  The best yet, by a long shot.  It’s difficult to eat, considering this is what happens the instant you open the package and even think about touching the candy:

mexcandy5

I’m not kidding; that shit just completely disintegrated the instant I tried to pick it up.  Remember the scene in Terminator 2 when that truck crashes and spills liquid nitrogen everywhere?  The nitrogen freezes T-1000, and Ahnold shatters his ass into a million pieces?  It was kind of like that when I touched the candy.  Only maybe a bit less dramatic, and the peanut candy wasn’t Robert Patrick.  All that aside, this candy kicks ass.  It tastes like powdered sugar with ground peanuts mixed in.  It made a big fucking mess, but I’d eat another one in a heartbeat.  I hope I don’t see these in a store somewhere, or I’m going to be getting fat real quick. Big thumbs up on this one.  If you see it somewhere, give it a try.  I’m gonna have to vacuum the floor before my peanut-allergic son comes over again, or else he’s going to break out the minute he sets foot in my bedroom.  That shit is everywhere.

Duvalin milk candy, come on down.

mexcandy6

This is an interesting format for a candy.  It’s almost like a cake icing or dip, and it reminds me of those little single-serving plastic trays with cheese spread and crackers that I used to eat when I was a kid.  I’m assuming this was supposed to come with some kind of tiny plastic spoon to dip the candy out with, but I didn’t get one.  What a bunch of bullshit.  This is like the time I brought yogurt to work for my lunch, but forgot the spoon.  I’ll just lick it out of the plastic tray like the cavemen used to.  I mean, the kitchen is all the way downstairs.  I’m not going all the way down there just because some jerk at the Duvalin factory fell asleep on the job.

The hazelnut is decent, and reminds me just a little bit of nutella.  The remaining three flavors (strawberry, cajeta, and vanilla) were all smooshed together, so I couldn’t get a proper taste of any of them.  But the newly formed flavor that I’ve labeld “cajetanillaberry” wasn’t too bad at all.  Despite feeling like I was eating cake frosting straight out of the can, I think this candy gets a thumbs up.  I’d like it better if I didn’t have to lick it out of the tray like a dirty savage.  You know what would have exceeded in that capacity?   A little fucking plastic spoon.  Thanks for dropping the ball, Duvalin.  Now we’re going to lose the game.  Learn how to catch, asshole.  You are so off the team.

The main event for this review is Bubu Lubu:

mexcandy7

What did Bubu Lubu do to achieve main event status?  No, it didn’t win a 60-minute Iron Man match against Bret “The Hitman” Hart.  It didn’t make it all the way to the end of a grueling, 3 day long Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em Robots tournament.  I just saved it for last because I like the package.  It looks fancy.

Bubu Lubu is strawberry-flavored jelly and marshmallow sandwiched together and coated in chocolate.  Bubu Lubu is also bad candy.  The strawberry jelly is forgettable and bland.  The marshmallow is….well, marshmallow.  You can’t put marshmallow in a candy bar, in my opinion.  It’s not strong enough to hold it’s own against any other ingredients.  If this candy bar were a cancelled game show, it would be The Weakest Link.  And guess who the weakest link would be?  Yup.  The marshmallow.  The chocolate coating tastes very fake.  So, a shitty candy bar all around.  Thumbs way down for Bubu Lubu.  I had high hopes, but it let me down.  The goofy white character with the red t-shirt on the package wrote a check that the candy inside couldn’t cash.  Back to the drawing board for Bubu Lubu.

Well, that was a fun experience.  I’d like to do it again sometime, with another genre of products.  Maybe something that isn’t edible.  Send me some suggestions if you can think of anything that might be fun or entertaining.  I’m giving a gold star to the de la Rosa Peanuts Confection.  I’d have given it a gold star and a smiley face sticker, but it made a big mess that I have to clean up.  So just the gold star.  Pico and Bubu Lubu were just disappointing in all aspects, and I shan’t be inviting them over to dinner anymore.  They did the equivalent of a guest pissing all over your toilet seat and not bothering to wipe up the mess.  That’s rude, and I won’t stand for it.  Suck it, Bubu Lubu and Pico.

32 Responses to “Mexican Candy Taste Test!”

  1. Kitchenwolf said

    The Bubu Lubu sounds awful.

  2. Tobiah said

    First, this is by far the best product review you have written yet. If Siskel & Ebert could have reviewed movies like you reviewed Mexican Candy, they would have been Sainted by the Catholic Church, bronzed at death by somebody who bronzes dead celebrities, and had astronomical anomolies named after them, all on the same day. And their pictures would be on billboards.

    Second, if you did not finish the stoplight lollipop, did you at least entertain their secondary function as anal beads? Don’t answer that.

    Third, the peanut confection could probably be eaten in the wrapper, now that you know how good it is. It would all go down without the mess, and you could just imagine how happy your stomach was to have it.

    peace.

  3. bronzechains said

    Tobiah: You know, I did eat that peanut candy in the wrapper. But it still made a big mess. I’ll probably just pass on it. I don’t need to eat that much candy, anyway. Glad you liked the review, lol. And regarding the stoplight lollipop…..that’s just….eeeeeeeeewwwww.

  4. Kel said

    The little spoon from the Duvalin is at my house. Well, it was before I threw it away. I thought I handed you one with the candy. Guess I forgot. My bad. I missed that you posted this. Not cool.

    I did enjoy this review a lot. I tasted a bit of the peanutty thing too and somewhat liked it but thought it was a bit too chalky.

  5. crystal said

    i AM mexican and i think this review is fucking bogus. i don’t need some white person telling me what kind of mexican candy is or isn’t good. As a matter of fact i have tried all these mexican candies and they are fire. Why don’t you go stuff you face with mexican food and write a blog on how much you fucking love it!

  6. Adam Bomb said

    @Crystal:

    i AM white and i think your comment is fucking bogus. i don’t need some mexican person telling me what kind of review is or isn’t good. As a matter of fact i have read all of my reviews and they are fire. Why don’t you go stuff your face with some white reviews and write a comment on how much you fucking love it!

    lol.

  7. crystal said

    @ the white dude:
    yes i can tell…im sorry, i wish i had enough energy to look up your lame ass blogs and read them…laughing my fucking ass off!

  8. Adam Bomb said

    I’m actually a little disappointed at how easily that flew over your head. Please turn off your computer and never get on the internet again.

  9. So I grew up near the mexican border and I couldn’t help but Lol (seriously) at ” that shit just completely disintegrated ” when you talked about the delarosa treat. That’s everyone’s reaction! Do you like spicy stuff or just the nutty stuff? Let me know JIC I go home for thanksgiving and I can get you some straight up mexican sh*t…no goat though.

  10. Also…I’m laughing cause of your blog “fight”.

  11. Adam Bomb said

    Dianacheung: Blog fights are fun, I agree. Especially when they’re so easy. I pretty much hung up my “flame war” hat ages ago, but every once in a while some douche comes along and I just can’t resist!

    Regarding the mexican candy: I’m ALWAYS down for trying new food/candy/etc, no matter what it is! If you want to hook me up with some Mexican stuff, I’d gladly reimburse you for shipping costs! And you should really try to get some goat, lol.

  12. I am late to the game. I know. I found this because I was researching lead in Mexican candy. I’m not trying to scare you, I’m pretty sure you tried the ones on the safe list. I’m pouty because I LOVE me some pico and bought what I thought was the right stuff and it appears it wasn’t. SO now I have a bag of what looks like pico but I won’t eat it because it might be tainted. BTW, I respect that you don’t like it. I thought the peanut confection tasted like butt. Different strokes. Best to you.
    g

  13. Natalie said

    So for years I’ve been trying to find out what Pico is called. A Spanish teacher brought the class some in elementary & thus began my love affair. A trip in 11th grade to Epcot refreshed the love of it, & I’ve been looking for more for over 10 years now. After reading this I’m definitely going to have to get some to see if I’m not just remembering it all wrong! How disappointing if it’s really as bad as you say. Family’s heading to Disney in a week, so I’ll find out then. Thanks for the review.

  14. Iknow Thisgirlfromsomewhere said

    Wow, as I am writing this, I’m eating a De la Rosa and I’m not as impressed as you seemed to be. It is very much like slightly peanut flavored powdered sugar. I found your review while I was looking for any information on the odd, slightly creepy looking, unnamed-substance-in-a-white spoon candy I see in mexican markets all the time. I enjoyed your thorough analysis.
    Another one I tried tonight that you should avoid completly: Paleton Corona (El Autentico)
    It looked innocent enough…a chocolate covered marshmallow pop in gold foil. Inside that misleading, shiny, wrapper was something far from precious. I’d say it was absolute shit. The chocolate tasted like a chemists idea of what chocolate should taste like, one who had never tasted chocolate before. Inside that flaky abomination was a initially hard and afterwards taffy like marshmellow reminiscent of baked shaving cream. I highly recommend trying Marinela Sponch Marshmallow Cookies. They are pink and white marshmellow covered cookies. They are soooooo good.

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  16. Sarah said

    I grew up eating Bubu Lubus…frozen. My mom would stick them in the freezer for me, yum. Also, try Gansitos. More of a dessert/bread thing but when eaten frozen they’re not as sticky/chocolatey.

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  20. Michelle Vega said

    I’ve eaten this stuff all my life, I enjoy it to the fullest and nothing bad has ever happened to me, my family, my friends or anyone I know. If you don’t like, don’t eat it. AS SIMPLE AS THAT!

  21. And guess what, I never did eat it again Michelle. And the next time you visit my blog, you can drop your little attitude at the door before coming in. Remember how you said “If you don’t like it, don’t eat it…”? If you don’t like my blog, DON’T FUCKING READ IT. You probably eat Necco Wafers, too.

  22. beanerlover said

    Notice how the Mexican folks are so sensitive (ie. Michelle, Crystal)? This is why Mexico is 3rd world and will always be.

  23. Carlo said

    Bubu Lubu… You should try it frozen. You can find that thing in the freezer of stores. That peanut confection (mazapan) is, indeed, great. Me and my friends used to bet who could get it out of the envelope without desintegrating it. Good times.

    I’m mexican… I didn’t read all the replays, but I think this is not a matter of nationality, it’s just personal taste. Beanerlover… Don’t fall in the game of that people with those mean comments. It’s absurd. Some mexican people like to dialogue, you know?

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  26. Celeste said

    everyone has different tastes of candy but you crystal should have a little more respect on how you write what you think I perfer mexican candy over american candy…jolly ranchers & starbursts are so gross!

  27. Nems said

    Try Carlos V chocolate it is the best chocolate ever!

  28. If you want to try Mexican Confections check out “La Zamorana Candy Co.” They have many confections and they’ll ship it your house http://www.zamoranacandy.com The Jamoncillo and Cocada Horneada are my favorites.

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  30. Hi, I have bought all my Mexican candy like semaforo, mazapan, Obleas cajeta, chili lollipops at http://www.alegrofoods.com/mexicancandy.aspx they have a lot of authentic products from mexico

  31. marcos said

    Hi I just tried some “sabritas” wich is the Mexican brand of “lays” u should really try crujitos and the Mexican Doritos nacho cheese the flavor is amazing also rancheritos and churrumaiz those are some awesome flavors also chipotles” and talking about candy the “sonrics” brand have the best ones from little chocolate covered in mint to spicy Lilly pops for real u should try sonrics and the Mexican variety of lays wich is “sabritas”

  32. the_1_that-got-away said

    I fuckin loved your blog! You are honest and very funny. I didn’t see anything racist or offensive about your blog. You’re basically stating your opinion. Those of you so sensative should think twice on bashing this author about “someone’s point of view”, although, your ignorance is appreciated. Keeps us entertained. Adam Bomb is fucking hilarious. Lol!

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